Why I Run

It has been forever since I updated but really not much has happened to update so let's get to it.   

3/9: 6.3 miles, 1 hour - Treadmill  

3/12: 6.4 miles, 1 hour - Treadmill

3/13: 5 miles. 45 minutes - Treadmill

3/16: 4.81 miles, 43:48 - neighborhood! 

3/18: 5 miles, 46:41 - park! 

The running hasn't been amazing, but the dog walking has helped me maintain miles throughout the week. I'm also one of those people who counts steps now. I'm a data freak with this Garmin and I have been making my goal every day for about the last 2 weeks. Yesterday I listened to a "Note to Self" podcast about too much health data information and related a little too much. Oh well. I am going to chalk it up as cross training and move on.  

I have a few runner friends who have been KILLING their goals lately, posting faster and faster times, making their workouts happen no matter what, and really progressing. I've been thinking about them a lot lately I recently went into this crazy downward spiral of thinking that I absolutely have to get back in shape and get faster and get my act together. The thing is, that did not really do much for actually motivating me to run. The more I think of it, the more I'm super stoked for them and simultaneously frustrated with myself. I've still been struggling and coming up with loads of excuses to not run and not sign up for a race. So today on my beautiful run at the park that took me forever to get to (see above re: motivation), I tried to take advantage of the alone time and figure out WTF is up with my running lately.  I was not having a great time, my legs didn't feel wonderful or weightless, my lungs felt off from this sore circus muscle somewhere in my chest, so why the hell was I even doing it? If I was doing it to catch up with my friends and make sure I don't fall too far behind in the pace group, that's kind of a horse shit reason. If I'm doing it only for exercise, then I wouldn't feel so bad about all the treadmill runs lately and honestly, walking would be easier, probably put me less at risk for injuries and be more fun for the rest of my family. Around mile 2.5, after deciding I actually wanted to go around for another loop, it hit me - I like running because it's hard and it shows me I can change. I then went into runner psycho mode and dwelled on this thought for another 2.5 miles. 

Running gives me a way to practice the traits about myself that I like and want to make stronger. I like that it makes me stronger physically, but almost moreso I love that it makes me mentally stronger. When I'm running, I'm practicing doing this hard thing for hours and practicing self-discipline each time I head out. Each time I sign up and train for a race, it shows me that I can change and get better at something if I practice it and put in the time. I'm not terribly afraid of aging, but I am afraid of becoming stagnant and inflexible as I get older. Running helps me see progress and changes over time, and know that I'm not stuck. It's really helpful to have all these things to pull on in real life too. At work when things suck or I have to stare at a screen for what feels like a million hours, I remember that I can do hard things. Also, I can remember seeing these ducks who were adorable and very, very noisy. 

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There are about another million reasons I love running, but that's just the runners high talking. I'm writing this post-run in the gorgeous park on an almost 60 degree Spring morning along the lake with incredible mountain views so take it with a grain of salt and reality. 

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Tomorrow I have a date with BFF to run and I'm a little anxious but mostly excited. My goal for the next few days is to get back outside and this is the perfect way to get those miles in plus know, BFF time is the best kind of time.